Privacy Policy
Effective 2 November 2026. Last amended: not yet, but we are prepared.
1. Preliminary Statement
1.1 Maison Ouden (“the House”) respects your privacy with a rigour that is made unusually straightforward by the fact that the House keeps nothing. This Privacy Policy (the “Policy”) describes, in the interests of completeness, how the House handles the personal data that it does not collect.
1.2 For the purposes of applicable data protection law, the House is the controller of nothing, and the processor of the same, jointly and severally.
2. Categories of Personal Data Collected
| Category | Collected | Retained |
|---|---|---|
| Names (Sender and Recipient) | No | No |
| Email addresses and phone numbers | Never requested | No |
| The Message (personal note) | No | No |
| Accounts, profiles and passwords | None exist | No |
| Cookies and similar technologies | None set | No |
| Local storage and fingerprints | None used | No |
| Analytics, advertising and tracking | None operated by the House | No |
| Payment details | Not required (Complimentary*) | No |
3. How a Parcel Works, for the Purposes of Transparency
3.1 When a Sender personalises a Gift, the names, note and selected options are assembled into a link on the Sender’s own device. They are placed in the part of the address that follows the “#” symbol (the “fragment”). By the design of web browsers, the fragment is never transmitted to any server. It is read by the page, on the device of whoever opens the link, and by nobody else.
3.2 Accordingly the House has no database, no mailing list, no queue, no ledger and no drawer in which a Message could be kept. The House does not send email on anyone’s behalf; the Sender does so, using the Sender’s own accounts.
3.3 When the Sender transmits a Parcel by email or messaging service, the content of the link is handled by that service under its own terms and privacy policy, which the House does not control and which the Sender is advised to find reassuring.
4. Hosting and Technical Records
4.1 The pages of the House are delivered by a third-party hosting provider. As with any web host, that provider may process standard technical information (such as an IP address, the page requested and the time) in order to deliver the pages and to keep the service secure, in accordance with its own policies. The House does not run analytics of its own on this site, does not receive such information for any purpose of its own, and does not combine it with anything, there being nothing to combine it with.
5. Purposes and Legal Bases of Processing
5.1 The House processes no personal data for any purpose. The lawful basis relied upon is the absence of the thing to which a lawful basis would attach.
6. Disclosure to Third Parties
6.1 The House shares your personal data with nobody. This is not a courtesy; it is a logistical position. Requests from authorities will be met promptly and in full, and the response will be a short document of unusual clarity.
7. Retention
7.1 Personal data is retained for the period of time that nothing is retained, being indefinitely. Every data subject is held in exactly the condition in which the House received them: not at all.
8. Your Rights
8.1 Subject to applicable law, you have the right to access, rectify, erase, restrict, object to, and port your personal data held by the House. The House is pleased to confirm that each such right may be exercised in full, immediately and without charge. A request for access will be answered with a complete and accurate account of the data held; a request for erasure is already complete; a request for portability will be fulfilled by the transfer of nothing, in a structured, commonly used and machine-readable format.
8.2 The House has no postal address or contact email at which such requests may be received, because it keeps no records that might require correction. Requests may therefore be made by not making them.
8.3 If you believe your data has been mishandled by a third party, including your email provider or the hosting provider, you may complain to that party or to your local data protection authority.
9. Children
9.1 The House does not knowingly collect personal data from any person, of any age. Persons under the age of majority are encouraged to send Parcels only with the knowledge of a parent or guardian, who will in all likelihood find the contents agreeable.
10. Security
10.1 The House applies robust technical and organisational measures to protect personal data. The principal measure is that there is none. It is widely understood to be difficult to breach a vault that has been left entirely empty, and the House has taken care to maintain it in that condition.
11. International Transfers
11.1 Nothing is transferred to any country. In the event that Nothing is transferred, it will be transferred to nowhere in particular, in accordance with the standard contractual clauses for that destination.
12. Changes to this Policy
12.1 The House may amend this Policy by amending this page. The House will not notify you of changes, having no means of doing so, but undertakes that any future version will say substantially the same thing, with more clauses.
Schedule 1: Statement in Plain Terms (non-binding)
We do not collect, store or sell your information. Names and notes you type stay inside the link you copy, and our servers never receive them. There are no accounts, cookies or analytics of ours. Like any website, our hosting provider may keep ordinary technical logs under its own policy. If you send a link by email or chat, that service sees it, not us.